Torn within

Evenings are by far her best time of personal escape
The other day she was seated on a very comfortable rock watching the sun break away
At the back of her mind was a question that never leaves
“What is my idea of a beautiful future?”
For a minute there she broke down
Feeling tears down her cheeks
Broke her heart in the most unimaginable way
She looked around and admired the work of art in nature
And asked herself

Am I living right?

As a child and throughout the process of growing up
She has not enjoyed the luxury of having perfect relationships
Intimacy is probably one of her biggest fears
Attachments have left her with one unanswerable question

Am I doing right?

So as the moon peeped through the clouds and the cold ran through her
She walked slowly back home
On her way back, she met a beautiful couple holding hands
She did not just admire them, she was happy for them
They were so young and vibrant
They shared the type of energy she has not been able to have as an individual
And she wondered

Don’t I deserve to be happy?

All her life she has been clouded by the anger towards herself for not making things right
She thought she was the problem
That forgot she deserved happiness
That she deserves the good things life has to offer
She actually forgot that besides everything else everyone contributes in my life
There is that spark within her that’s waiting to be let out
The person within her that deserves to see the beauty in life

How does she unleash happiness?

Being an introvert has left her in an alarming situation
Specifically to the people closest
The few friends that she has have tried to understand her
But how does the rest of the world view her
What opinions do they have about her
These are the questions she does not care about
How does she see that she makes it through the day
Handling every situation in the right manner
Because at the end of the day, the one thing she cares about is asking herself

Am I happy?

To her, happiness comes in a lot of different ways
The most little things can bring a magnitude of happiness
Big achievements at that
Even when she gets an opportunity to make someone happy, she does not let it pass her by
She genuinely believes happiness is of great influence on individual growth
That’s why she posses;

Are you happy?


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